Double Reflection

Double Reflection
By Te’Kia Miller

There is a double reflection in this mirror.
Living one life by day and another life by night
My life seems to always be beholden to practicality.
Meanwhile my feet chase after a precious dream
Still trying to be birthed into this world.
But the seams of this duality stretch and contract,
Breeding the inevitable tears that threaten
To rip me apart from the inside out.

There is a double reflection in this mirror.
Dreaded thoughts begin to seethe
That the ‘real world’ will prevail by
Steam rolling this dream.
Just like it steam rolled the ones
Who gave up to the terrible mantras of lost hope.

There is a double reflection in this mirror.
And I must choose which me I desire to be.


Remember Young Heart

Remember Young Heart
By Te’Kia Miller

Remember why you are here young heart.
You are not here to make friends.
But if you do, it is okay.
Remember why you are here young heart.
You are not here to stay.
You are just passing by.
The end goal is to reach your dreams.
They do not live here,
Where you are unfulfilled and dissatisfied.
They do not live here where you are
Discouraged and surrounded by the weights
Of other’s negativity.
They do not live here where you must
Constantly prop up your joy with splints
And muddle through a show.
They do not live here where others
Will try to puppeteer you
Where they want you.
They will try to finesse you
Into things that will encumber you.
And think you don’t see the strings
They’re holding behind their backs.
Remember why you are here young heart.
You are just passing by
Until you reach your dreams.


Forgotten Friend

Forgotten Friend
By Te’Kia Miller

I am the forgotten friend.
Even though I’ve been here
A long time, maybe

Even the longest.

Still, I am the forgotten friend.
I am the familiar face
Shuffled out of place.
Did I ever have a place?
1st, 2nd, 3rd, last place?
Did it ever matter, did I ever matter?
I am the forgotten friend.
A familiar face shuffled out of place
As easy as one cycles through shirts to wear.
Our friendship has worn old
Like torn holes in the armpits.

New faces come along, piquing curiosity
And refreshing interest like water
To an arid tongue eager to tell
What it knows. Usually close friends
Learn of that news first in the pavilion of friendship.

Busyness, while it gets the better of us at times,
Serves as a cop out after so long runs, and runs, and runs.
Days, weeks, months slipping through time
Like hourglass sand. 

I am the forgotten friend.
Even though I’ve been here
A long time, maybe

Even the longest.
Still I am the forgotten friend.

The one who is least thought about.
The one who is last to find out.
And if I don’t call you, text you, smoke signal you
I’d never hear from you
Except for once in a blue moon, if that.
The one who is last thought about.

The forgotten friend whose presence
Is not truly sought after.
No genuine inquiry into my wellbeing is pursued.
I am relegated to the back of conscious, existing
Only as an apparition of memory.

The forgotten friend.
No more than a passing thought to you
Who I considered precious.
We declared such a friendship… or so it seemed.
But introspection of this tattered bind
During our long departure from communication
Has revealed this stark dynamic
To the friendship we have.
I am the forgotten friend.


Reminiscing Tears

Reminiscing Tears
By Te’Kia Miller

Precious are the tears we shed.
The memory of them lives longer
Than their fleeting trails.
Only the heart knows to what extent
Pieces of great depths are expelled
By the rough and agile hands of Experience.
Tears for yesterday.
Tears for hope.
Tears for despair.
Tears for passion.
Tears for sorrow.
Tears for love.
Tears for tomorrow.
Tears for fear.
Tears for anger.
Tears for success.
Tears for failure.
Tears for pain.
Tears for joy.
Tears for danger.
Tears for today.
Tears for a friend.
Tears for a stranger.
Tears for loved ones passed away.
Tears for precious things lost.
Tears for the lies.
Tears for the truth.
Tears for death.
Tears for life.
Ebbing and tiding with tempest and calm.
They melt into each other,
Pooling into an ocean of a lifetime.
The depths hold treasures within,
Pieces of wisdom sparkling beneath
The glassy surface
Reflecting back on the peering face.


Matching Energy for Energy

Matching Energy for Energy 
By Te’Kia Miller

If you don’t want to reap it,
Then don’t sow it.
Don’t wonder why I don’t call you.
You don’t call me, hardly ever.
Don’t wonder why I don’t text you.
I can bet my last dollar you won’t answer back.
Don’t wonder why we don’t hang out.
You’ll suggest we meet up
But then don’t follow up.
Don’t wonder why I don’t share
Big life updates and what’s new with me.
These days I’m the last to know from you.
I guess when someone is too busy
They only see in blurred vision.
Telling themselves a slurred version
Of these events, inevitably their perception flips
And want to grant blame in my custody.
All I’m doing it matching energy for energy.
Does anyone invest in one-sided anything?
So why, then, do you expect me to invest
In a one-sided friendship?
Are you more special
Than other priorities worth my time, space, and energy?
Are you more special than
Others who gladly invest the same
Time, space, and energy
To grow and maintain a friendship?
“Too busy,” you say.
So is everyone else.
I’m not that friend to wait on bated breath,
Fingers twiddling by the phone.
I’m first chair and not second fiddle.
You’ll cross my mind
Like wind passing by,
Rustling the leaves of distant memories.
Then I shake them away like dust
From a worn out ‘Welcome’ mat.
And continue with living life,
Matching energy for energy.


On The Other Side of Tested Love

On The Other Side of Tested Love 
By Te’Kia Miller

This space has become awkward now.
Dense fog from a past fallout still hovers.
Unsure hearts beat with a timid pace.
Still, there lives the desire only found
In this sacred pavilion where love’s eternal fires abound.
In the crucible of testing, our minds quick with anger
Thought it was only fleeting,
Something never meant to be.
Wounded king with battered armor
And distant queen with fractured crown.
The future knew differently.
The reason why we’re here presently.
Even in the cacophony of silence,
The magnitude of the love we shared then
Comes in a rushing torrent,
Wiping away the fog. 
It crashes against us in a thunder
That shakes the moment.
Our lips have found us embraced by 
Long awaited kiss.
Life, with its responsibilities and distractions,
Colluded to keep us at a distance.
The future saw differently.
The reason why we’re here presently.
With heart in heart and hand in hand
Now we know where we stand.
Now we know it was always meant,
Burned into permanence.


Don’t Know Me

Don’t Know Me 
By Te’Kia Miller

You saw one face
And thought me this way.
You saw another face
And thought me that way.
You saw a third face
And didn’t know what to make.
So a prejudice formed; you called me fake,
Instead of realizing you were looking at a prism.
So always remember this one fact:
You don’t know me like you think you do.
Always keep that in mind.
Just because we have camaraderie over time,
Grown as friends often do,
Doesn’t mean you know me.
Not like you think you do.
Just because I’ve shared certain things
About my personality,
Things that make me,
You think you know who I be.
Don’t allow such a presumption
To consume you with assumption.
And the ones with a studious eye,
Perhaps this warning is most of all for you:
To be careful how you watch me.
Be sure of what you see
Because perception is not always reality.
There are multi-facets you don’t see.
So unless you know my inner workings
And the inward thought of my heart
Remember, you do not know me.
Unless you had been in the soles of these shoes
And walked the steps of my footsteps.
Unless you had walked with me
In troubled times and tribulation.
Unless I had decided to share my 
Space, time, energy with you in mutual exchange
In the pavilion of friendship.
Unless I had chosen to welcome you
In my inner circle, such a personal thing.
Unless all these things had come to pass,
Always remember this one fact:
You do not know me.


Sorrow’s Balm

Sorrow’s Balm
By Te’Kia Miller

From the depths of your soul
I heard the calling of woe.
A heart broken by suffering.
Great was the tragedy,
And in equal measure was the blow.
So I came on swift wings
With balm in gentle hands.
By the river side you sat, adding tears
To its flow.
It was at your side I saw red fleshy pieces.
Your hands tried but failed
To stitch your heart together again.
But when my hand touched the space
Where once your joyous heart lived,
Something inside changed.
Something between us exchanged.
Give me the pieces of this heartache
And close your despondent eyes.
Sit with me for a little while.
Let me listen to your grief spoken
In verses and stories of memories.
I will collect every tear, record every plea,
And inscribe my tongue with every lament. 
I will carry them all back with me.
I will measure the weight
Of your troubled words 
And I will bear them also.
But you must set me free to do this.
For Hope desires your return,
To adorn you again.
So I must go.
And when you open your eyes
They will be lightened anew.
At last your hurting heart 
Will be lighter in its mended state.
Though a scar will remain,
The weight of it is gone with me.


Tears of Release

Tears of Release
By Te’Kia Miller

These are the tears of release.
A long standing pain
Squeezed from the soul.
A hallow frustration
That pressed hard against its confines.
These are the tears of release.
When sanity can no longer hold its own
And reason is left speechless, finding none
To bar this torrential downpour.
These are the tears of release.
A weight compounded from the ankles
To the level only eyes can see
Has churned in a bubbling cauldron of emotion,
Screaming and shouting in the same space.
These are the tears of release.
Anger speeds forward in confusion,
Grasping for the hand of understanding but
Finding none to make sense.
Erupting from being long held in the depths
Wrath has found the sunlight, swinging wide
And blind through the air.
These are the tears of release.
Pent up thoughts and feelings
Expelled from their internal cell
Has filled these pools of tears.
Finally the soul breaths in relief from lifted weight.
Finally the soul smiles again with lifted head.


These Walls

These Walls
By Te’Kia Miller

These walls were built to keep out
Everything that would hurt
This already fragile heart.
An impressive fortress a thousand miles by a thousand miles.
Each lesson learned, mixed with 
Old wounds, cemented in each brick.
The daggering eyes of Experience
Still pierce my soul even after all this time.
Both heart and mind conditioned to be on high guard.
Slow and careful was each piece put in its place, 
Each piece to hide me behind a stone face.
I can smile wide and it still not reach its heights.
I can still feel the wings of love and not take flight.
I can draw close to love’s fire but not be burned.
Too many heartbreaks have taught me this maneuver.
But you chipped away at this wall Heartache built.
This wall built to keep out everything
That would hurt this already fragile heart.
You chipped away with Patience’s chisel.
You helped me believe I could take this wall down,
That it was no longer necessary. 
So began the arduous work
To take down each brick.
I believed new growth was possible along this ruined way.
That love could finally be full throttle as the wildfire it is
And all consuming, unquenchable even.
This I believed. I believed in your heart and the promises
It sent cascading over your lips.
So when you betrayed my heart,
You became another hurt added to the collection.
Your face contorted into all the others
And the past became the present in an instant.
Did you consider how difficult 
It was for me to remove this wall for you?
Did having access to my heart matter at all?
Because it seemed so easy for you 
To shroud the new found light.
It seemed easy for you to change
Into the shadowy night.
Now the cloak of darkness veils over all
And so again begins the building of these walls.